Nothing to F ear

I have nothing to fear...really I don't. Over these past few weeks, I have taken some initiative; finally taking control of my life, as it were. I applied to a place that I would absolutely love to work. Although they haven't gotten back to me, the whole experience was nonetheless a freeing one. I even called them a couple of days later to "check on the status of my application"--oh, so sophisticated. I also took the initiative in contacting some coffee shops to see if they "supported local artists by hosting exhibits at their locations"--oh, so professional. Good news: I will probably have an exhibit coming up come September and October. I'm just a little excited about that proposition. No, I rephrase that: I am supremely excited! I finally--FINALLY--started my collage. It's not exactly turning out how I planned that it would. It's basically trash, if I might. But, I started it. Yay for me! Seriously...yay for me. I'm not being sarcastic now. I am being truthful, sincere....genuine. For once, huh? Yep, for once. So, although I am disappointed about the tea job, I am glad that I at least applied. See? It wasn't so bad after all, was it, self? I really did have anything to fear. Even though they haven't contacted me, I am not discouraged(weird, eh?). I know that there is probably a better opportunity out there for me. Maybe the time just wasn't right for me to work there. My time will come, I am convinced. The coffee shop situation is an entirely different matter. I just emailed some coffee shops thinking it would nice to have another exhibit. One got back to me. They have coffee shops in two different locations. I inquired about their Northwest location, as opposed to the St. John's location. They said that they were booked in the NW location until the New Year and they asked if I would be interested in the St. John's location. I said that would be fine. She emails me back and says that they had a mix up with one of the artist's and will have an opening for September and October(their exhibits run for two months)...guess where? That's right: at the Northwest location. Amazing!! I am going to go down there next week to meet with her--Sarah--to see how much room I have to hang my work. Then I will kick into high gear and get some pictures printed and buy some frames....I am even thinking about making a collage--just so the whole thing won't be black and white pictures of downtown. I will throw in some color definitely though. The coffee shop seems really nice, too. I have never been there, but the description and the pictures online were amazing. Thus, I am excited. This so works out great. What did I have to fear? That some of the coffee shops would have said "No, we don't want you to hang your artwork..." See, I lost nothing in the process. I seemingly didn't gain anything either...oh, but I did. I gained the courage to go out and be the initiator. I gained experience. Although, there is one thing that I did lose come to think of it: my fear. Or at least some of it. But that's good. All I needed to do was to get out there. "Advertise myself" as I call it. I'm not especially good at that type thing. But enough practice...and I will be...better. Yes, I will be better. I will be better without fear always by my side, telling me I will fail...so why even try? People have told me these exact words before. I highly considered them, but my fear was too great. It wasn't quite time yet. Now is my time. I will conquer the majority of my fear. I might even conquer the world!! I shouldn't get too far ahead of myself though. Baby steps, baby steps. But, I am at a good place now. A really good place. I am surprised that I wasn't more discouraged about the tea job...but I guess the possibility of an exhibit makes me excited no matter what else is going on.