Sight Difference

I had always seen things differently. Maybe it was just that my perspective was different, or maybe, I indeed did see differently. Or, maybe is it, that one's perspective alters the way he sees. Either way, something was different about the way I saw. That wasn't so horrible in and of itself. But that fact that I could not verbalize what I saw--explain aloud with my words/vocabulary--was the most difficult, if not frustrating most of the time. But I found those words--I found my voice--through writing. I could not explain aloud what I saw, but when I wrote, I was able to go into magnificent detail. When I attempted to explain my sights aloud, no words would come--they were trapped in my head, my mouth. My lips were guards that let no words escape. But when I wrote, I had all words at my disposal. I had too many words to choose from; I didn't know which to pick--so I wrote them all. At one point, I did get quite tired of writing; I looked--searched--for some other outlet through which to express what and how I saw. At this point, I had ceased my writing and became bottled up inside. That was a frustrating time, but I didn't dare venture back to writing.
...
As I said a forehand, I have always seen differently. I can see perfectly; I have never needed glasses or the such like. Even though I never had "frames" to look through, I did see objects framed--they were built-in, if you will. early on(in my younger years), I wanted to photograph everything--just to see what it would look like on paper; then to hold those little snippets of objects in my hands were empowering. the process was innocent for I was naive. Just throughout this past year, I see the world(and objects in general) differently. I parted from photographing the tangible representing the tangible. I ventured into attempting to photograph the intangible, the photograph being the tangible interpretation, representation. It was then that the process of photography was no longer an innocent action. I was no longer naive. I began to photograph for very selfish reasons. Photographing gave me a "high"; looking at the photographs afterward gave me feelings I never had before, although the feelings were fleeting. Because the very fact that they were fleeting made me want to photograph more and have more photographs for which to look at, in my skewed view. I enjoyed the process and the feelings and emotions that came with it.